giving up ...

my friend once said to me that i'm the most bravest person she had ever met, that even in the middle of my personal problem i still know how to smile and pretend to be ok .... i guess i mastered it very much that sometimes i tend to lie to myself that i still can't make it, still manage to solve problem that comes in my way, convincing myself that i'll be ok and everything will fall into pieces that was i thought im tried lying to myself that im ok coz reality im empty broken, weak im tried making excuses why things didn't make it according to plan .. im through thinking why i shouldn't be disappointed when things gone wrong ...

i hate what's going on in my life, i really hate it ...
i want to give up .. in fact im giving up .. i don't care
what will happened to me ...

someone

i want someone to understand me as me... who cares for as much as i care for him... whose going to love me no matter what who will be there by my side when im weak.. when im in my depression....
just someone who will care, to be loved...

someone to love me ....

v day

february na pala ...
ohh i hate valentines they give so much attention to it
whats the big deal with valentines day, you can show
your love, care and chuvaness even if its not V day,
for me its just a ordinary day showing your affection to someone
doesn't have to be on V day only it could be every day
being together, enjoying every moment the two of you got
its not just in V day only... for others V day is especial day
but for some its a nightmare not of us celebrate V day with
a smile some of us receive their break ups in V day,
some doesn't have someone to be with during V day
and some remember their lost love one during V day how they wish
they can still celebrate V day with the one they love,
for most their happy during V day but for some tears falling
and alone in their room enduring pain of memories
of someone they used to be with and its much harder
to bare with becoz of the V day the day where love is in the air...
for me love is always there its bot just only in V day
V day is not always love and happiness ...
it could also be longing for someone, missing someone,
break ups, heartache, failure, being alone...
V day happiness to some ... loneliness to others ...

tulog na...

its already 1:30 am ..
i need to rest na kasi naman yung layout ayaw talaga
gumana ... anywez antuk an rin me baka mahirapan pa ako
matulog lagot na naman ako .....
nyt nyt ....

bahala na

im starting to pursue another chapter of my life to be able to work.
but theres so many thing to consider daming what if..
what if i won't be able to find one
the rejections how would i cope with it
how many rejections i'll be facing before finding one
how many weeks or months before i be able to find one
would i be able to find one ...

haiiizzzz so many questions
bahala na basta yun na ...

pagod ...

no matter how understanding you are there would come a time
but you can't hold your patience any more the more you try to understand
things out the more complicated it become...
na papagod ka kaka-intindi sa mga bagay bagay sa paligid mo
bakti ganito, bakit ganun you already give everything for the
sake of stupidity but still its not enough, lahat ng
lakas mo kaka intindi na uubus na gusto mung sumigaw,
mag wala, umiyak pero sa anu mang kadahilanan di mo magawa
di mo rin alam kung bakit di mo magawa alin man sa mga yun...
but at the end of the day luha mo'y unti unti dadaloy sa mga mata mo...
nakakapagod din minsan umintindi all you to do is
to give up ...

kakaloka

as of now na loloka ako how to get new layput for my blog ..
thank you bunso for the tips ut parang na wiwindang beauty ng
ate mo don't know what to do for a while ..
but before ako matulog ngayun dapat ok na layout ko
i hope ...