my friend once said to me that i'm the most bravest person she had ever met, that even in the middle of my personal problem i still know how to smile and pretend to be ok .... i guess i mastered it very much that sometimes i tend to lie to myself that i still can't make it, still manage to solve problem that comes in my way, convincing myself that i'll be ok and everything will fall into pieces that was i thought im tried lying to myself that im ok coz reality im empty broken, weak im tried making excuses why things didn't make it according to plan .. im through thinking why i shouldn't be disappointed when things gone wrong ...
i hate what's going on in my life, i really hate it ...
i want to give up .. in fact im giving up .. i don't care
what will happened to me ...
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